That's Disturbing...

I recently saw a video that shows how dogs and cats are being slaughtered for the fur trade. It was really disturbing to see how these poor animals are crammed into cages and then skinned. These dogs and cats are literallly stuffed into cages where they can't move. All you can see are these little faces sticking out, and maybe you'll see a random body part sticking out too. I already have a problem with people who buy pets and treat them like dispensable pieces of trash. But this, this video is just pure evil. You almost want to cram the people who are doing this into a cage and then drop them off of the Empire State building. These people will drop the cages off of the delivery trucks which are about 15 -20 feet high. When the cages hit the ground, a lot of the legs of the animals will just shatter. The cutting block is placed right in front of the cages where the other animals are waiting until it's there turn. It really is a pitiful thing to see.

As I watched the video, my dogs were sleeping quitely next to my feet. I couldn't imagine someone taking my dogs and slaughtering them. Some people may not look at their pets as part of their family, but for me they are. I love my dogs like they are my kids. Ernesto has been gone a lot and my dogs are really protective of me when he leaves. The little one is the guard dog and the big one is the one that will bite you in the ass if you pose the slightest threat.

It really is unbelievable of the lengths that some people will go to to just to be able to wear a dead animal.

Here's a pic of my dogs. It's a little blurry because I took the pic with my cell phone and the dogs were sitting behind a screen door.

Believing In Something...

I think I've come a long way, I'm pretty proud of myself. Ernesto and I went out to a nice dinner tonight and I told him about my thoughts of who I want to be. I don't want to leave this world not having done anything productive. Three weeks of school and I'm already tired of it...good luck. Nah, I've actually been really on top of my studies. I'm a great college student! So far I've gotten full points and A's for all of my assignments. I'm trying to attain a 4.0 the whole way. My father was always hard on me to keep up my good grades, I thank him for that. My academic and enrollment counselors are pretty pleased with my progress. They haven't had to get on me about meeting participation requirements in class discussions. DUH, I talk and write a lot, it's not hard to get me involved. The hard part is getting me to shut up!

So I'm going to University of Phoenix Online and they're pretty good. I was really apprehensive about this whole online thing, but it's not half bad. Progressively, the courses have been getting harder every week. I have an assignment due today on thesis statements for my Persuasive Essay. This assignment is killing me! I've written over a dozen different thesis statements, none that I'll ever use. I've been working on this particular assigment for the last two weeks, and still nothing.

The first four courses are considered to be "foundation courses". I think of them as remedial, but it's really catered to help college entry level students that have no writing skills whatsoever. I'm not the brightest crayon in the box or the best writer, but I am pretty up to par on my grammar skills. (This blog does not count, this is LAZY free-thinking writing). During my sophmore year of high school, I was the only student in the district to rate a perfect score on a writing test. (Ha ha ha and Ms. Berman thought I didn't deserve to be in her English class. Bet she felt pretty stupid when she had to tell the class what my results were. I will cherish that moment forever!) Wow, pretty fun to gloat sometimes! Let me wipe the sheepish grin off my face before it gets stuck there. JUST KIDDING! Sheesh!

Oh yeah, school. Going back to school has been motivating. I actually feel like I'm doing something that will give me the sense of gratification that I have been so desperately longing for. Getting a master's degree in Mental Health or Family/Marriage/Child Counseling will be my long-term goal. I don't think there will be any other profession out there for me that can be as rewarding. I love doing makeup and that will always be my passion, but I need to do something more. (Blind leading the blind? Pffft, I'll be crazy leading the crazy. Poor souls, they never had a chance. J/K!) I think it's hard for people to believe that I can actually be an objective thinker. I'm so emotional, I had to ask myself if I could really be qualified to help others. Why not? I'm a stubborn fool. I see something I want, I go for it. I'm actually leaning more towards social work. I've always had a soft spot for children in the system. A spot soft enough to make Ernesto and I want to adopt through Social Services.

I know working in child advocacy will be a grueling and mentally straining profession. There are so many children out there that need a voice to speak for them or an ear just to listen. I've seen so many neglected kids, it's criminal. I look forward to the challenge of being some sort of positve impact on a child. Whether that be as a parent or as a part of my career, time will only tell. I don't want to just sit back and do nothing. One person may not be able to change the world for the better, but the world would be a better place if more people tried. I can be unwavering when it comes to a good cause. Hopefully someday I can live up to that statement.

The Iraqi Sand & Sun...

I've been really worried about Ernesto, his vision isn't quite the same. There have been a few times that he's been driving where he would go temporarily blind from light reflections hitting his eyes. He's been constantly complaining about how sensitive his eyes are and how he can't see. I try to be calm when he tells me these things because I don't want him to worry about me...worrying about him.

So, he just called me from the optometrist's office and I tried to sound nonchalant. I tried to mask my concern as much as I could. Apparently, there is extensive sun damage to his eyes and they are scratched from the sand...all from Iraq. He has to wear sunglasses and glasses 24 hours a day. Someone is picking him up, everything will be blurry for the next four hours or so.

I guess one of my biggest fears right now is him having to go back to Iraq with his eye condition. Ernesto has never really had anything wrong with him (he only gets sick once every 2 years). The sun is blaring over there, what if someone starts shooting at him and he can't see? Sunglasses...what happens if they break? He won't be able to see! He can't even drive at night because headlights make him go blind. What's really sad is that he had exceptional vision.

Well, I hope the Marine Corps takes care of him. I'm just glad he went to the Dr.'s before anything got worse. Glasses aren't that bad, I'm just sad about how sensitive his eyes are to light. We walk outside and he's literally holding his head in pain. I hate seeing my husband like that. Hopefully now they'll be monitoring his progress and everything will be alright...

Back to School...

It's been eight years since I graduated from high school. I graduated early in hopes that I would start college sooner. Needless to say, it took eight years to finally get the motivation to finally go back to school again. I did go to a community college in 1999 and received my Medical Coding and Billing Certificate; but that's basically been the extent of my college life. Ernesto and I just enrolled in school this last week, so we're both really excited.

Our first block of classes start on the 26th of this month. Each block is nine weeks, two classes, and six credits. So all I have to do is complete 10 blocks in order to get my degree in Health Administration. I haven't quite decided how far I want to go, but getting my master's degree is my minimum goal. The college bug has officially bit me.

Our first assignment is an autobiography that we have to post on the first day of class. Mine was pretty easy to write, but poor Ernesto had a hard time getting ideas. After reading my bio, I've concluded that I live a very uneventful life. Oh well...

Remember...

I couldn't change the channel tonight without seeing something about 9/11. Ernesto and I sat and watched "The Flight That Fought Back" on the Discovery Channel. He was supposed to go to bed early tonight because he has to leave for work at 5 a.m., but after the first few minutes of the show...he couldn't take his eyes from the tv. I think I cried for atleast 99% of the program, it's one of the saddest things I think I've ever seen. It showed a minute-by-minute account of the events leading to the crash of United Flight 93. It really hits you, especially when they play actual voice recordings of the people that were on the plane. Their families shared their thoughts and give their interpretations of what they believed happened on the flight.

United Flight 93 crashed on a field in Shanksville, PA...only a 15 minute flight from Washington D.C.. It is the only flight that didn't carry out the planned attack on either the Capitol or the White House. The official 9/11 commision report stated that the terrorists crashed the plane into the field as the passengers tried to breach the cockpit. These brave people not only fought back, but they potentially saved the lives of countless others.

Today was the first day that I had seen several programs that gave in-depth accounts of 9/11. It's been four years since this tragedy occured, and I think the American public is just now ready to deal with the harsh facts that led up to that unforgettable day. I sobbed and cried with every program. Every station loops the footage of the Towers collapsing, the Pentagon in flames, and the Pennsylvania field. In my honest opinion, if you can watch any of these programs and not feel a smidge of saddnes, you probably shouldn't be living in America.

It really hits me hard when Ernesto gives his opinions on what's going on with the war. It's kind of a humbling experience when your Marine husband who has been to Iraq, says that the true heroes are people like those of Flight 93. "I'm not a hero, I just did my job." He sat down with me tonight and talked about why he has such a strong desire to stay in the Marine Corps. It frightens me when tells me that he would volunteer to go back to Iraq and will if they ask him. He lost 51 people in his unit, but it still doesn't sway his decision to fight for his country. I think by him watching the program about Flight 93 only helped verify his convictions.

Again, I know there are many people opposed to the war. People see the number of lives lost, and they grow angry at the fact that our troops are still over there. I can't give my opinion because I am torn between the thoughts as an individual American and a military wife. But, I can say that I feel a lot safer with them fighting over there than instead of in our own backyard.

We recently found out that several Marines are being pulled from Quantico to serve in Iraq. Just because we're here now, it doesn't mean that Ernesto will be safe from having to go again. If anything, they would want an experienced Marine to go back out. In the military, not everyone is guaranteed a non-deployable ticket. Unfortunately, Ernesto just happens to be one of them...

Sad...

MSN - Clifford, Douglas R/epa/sipa / Sipa Press

Everything that could possibly go wrong, has gone wrong since we've been in Virginia. I've pretty much done nothing but bitch about it all of this last month. I can't help but feel like an ass, especially after I've been glued to the tv watching the news. I'm an ass. Hurricane Katrina was devastating, I can't believe that I bitched about sleeping on the floor for a month...at least I had somewhere to sleep. These poor people down south had their homes destroyed and their lives shattered. I watched a man cry about how his wife's hand slipped out of his while the water took her away. All his wife could say to him was to take care of the children before she let go.

I bitch about not having enough in savings when some of those people don't even have a cent to their name. The hurricane took everything, even the people that they loved. I can't believe how petty I've been when there are so many people out there with absolutely nothing. It's terrible that this had to happen. A lot of people were stuck in their homes and tried to ride out the hurricane because they didn't have enough money to put gas in their tanks. They paid a price, and for many...it was with their lives.

A news reporter said that the Mayor of New Orleans was stopping 1500 police officers from their search and rescue efforts to relocate them downtown to stop the looting. There are thousands of people stranded that still need help, but it's more important to stop the others from taking stuff from WalMart? I saw a bonehead stealing a tv, but the majority of the other people were taking diapers, clothes, bottled water, shoes, and blankets. The damn store is in shreds anyways and there were even police offers with shopping carts walking down the aisles. What do you want these people to do, put money in the cash register as it floats on by? 1500 people is a lot of man power, it would be more beneficial for them to aid in the search and rescue. At least that's my opinion... (Ironically, there is a WalMart advertisement on an MSN article about the looting of WalMart...go figure.)

My Beef With The USMC...

I have usually had a sense of appreciation whenever I think of the Marine Corps. Even with all of Ernesto's long deployments, the shitty healthcare, our adventures in the crappy ghetto housing, and their endless paycheck screw-ups...I have always been thankful for what the Marine Corps has given us and what they have done for us. But, I do have some beef with them and it may be caused by the fact that I've been sitting in an empty apartment for a month with nothing better to do. I might just be mad because my comfort level sucks right now!

People move and change duty stations everyday. It's nothing new, even my grandmothers like to tell me their stories of the old days when both of my grandfathers served in the Navy. Luckily this wasn't our first move, I was better prepared and I knew what to expect this time around. The move to Hawaii wasn't easy. In retrospect, the Hawaii move may have been harder than this move. Right now it's just hard to tell because my stress level is to the max. Maybe after we settle in, I'll realize that things aren't as bad. But for now...BITCH FEST 2005!!!

This move was a whirlwind move just like the move to Hawaii. The Hawaii move sucked in that we were young and stupid then. We were not well-informed of anything. When we first got there, no one even knew we were coming. We had no where to stay, nothing to drive, and not one person even offered to give us some insight of what we had to do. I'm sure everyone at his work thought I was a total bitch, but they also knew where they were going to be sleeping that night. The first month there was hell, but it eventually got easier and everything fell into place.

Knowing what I had to do for this move, made things not as hectic as they possibly could have been. We had less than 3 months to prepare and to get our things in order. Even with careful planning and knowledge, it still sucks! If we had kids, I would be raising hell right now. I feel bad for the families that have to move with children. The one good thing about the base in Hawaii is that they have mandatory classes on the transition and what to expect from your move. They give you the highs and lows, and I appreciate their honesty. The classes are a pain in the ass if you have a busy schedule, but they are informative. They even made sure that you were still living in a minimum amount of comfort while your stuff was being shipped. But the minute you board the plane leaving Hawaii, is where the headaches will ensue.

Most of my bitching is not directly about the current situation that we are in. It's more on the basis of principle. If the Marine Corps wants to move you, they should make sure that you are taken care of...especially if it involves families. I know the Marine Corps isn't paying for anyone to have a family, but you can't expect everyone in the military to be single. I think it's funny that they promote being single in the early stages of your career, but promote family once you start getting higher in the ranks. Aesthetically it looks better when you back up good ole' family values. Military families are the major backbone of support for those serving in the Armed Forces. The average person fighting overseas does it because they feel an added duty to their family as well as their country. So that whole argument isn't going to sit well for me. I can argue and debate my side for days.

Financially we all know that if you are enlisted, you get paid shit. Ernesto never stayed in the Marine Corps for a big paycheck, he would get paid way more as a civilian. They give you just enough to be comfortable, and I am ok with that. If you're expecting to live in the lap of luxury, a military paycheck won't be enough. Military pay is steady and secure. Your health benefits are adequate if you're ok with second rate care. They also have the Commissary and MCX that is usually cheaper than the "civilian world"...it's also tax free. I would have to say that the average family with children will have the non-military parent serving as the primary caregiver to their kids. It can be costly to have two parents working when it comes to the price of daycare. Besides, I think it's admirable for a parent to be a "stay-at-home" when they can afford to do so.

So my complaint really has to do with the financial burden and hardships of moving when you have a family. If you know that you are moving in advance, you might be able to save. In many cases, there are a lot of families that don't have that that luxury. We fortunately were able to be financially secure before our move. Even though we are ok, it still is costly for us. If you're moving from Hawaii, be prepared to adjust to the pay cut of losing your COLA (cost of living allowance). Most places in the states will not have COLA available to you. The only source of money you are given when you move is your Dislocation Allowance. It's great if you're going to take military housing at your new duty station, but the dislocation allowance will hardly be enough if you're going to live off base. You can take an interest free loan against your paycheck (Advance Pay) if you're willing to have it deducted from your future paychecks over the span of a year. But why should a family have to borrow money for a move that the Marine Corps should be paying for? Like I had previously mentioned, military pay is shit.

We didn't take military housing on Quantico because their housing is currently being renovated. Trust in that I would have rather lived on base for free than living off base and having to pay rent and utilites again. But moving 3-4 times in the next 4 years while they are renovating, hardly seems tempting. Ernesto works, I'll be working and going to school, and we're planning on adopting next year...we're not going to have the time to keep moving around. If I knew we were going to be sedentary and we wouldn't have to move more than once, we would have gladly taken base housing.

I'm not bitching for the people who live beyond their means. There are many of those in the Marine Corps. I've seen too many families buy things they couldn't afford and spend what they didn't have in their bank accounts. If they have a problem with pay, I guarantee my complaint is entirely different from theirs. For instances where families don't want to live on base because of renovations or other circumstances (better schools for their kids, etc.), the dislocation allowance isn't enough. If you have to stay in a hotel while you are house hunting, the Marine Corps will reimburse you for your expenses. But, you have to pay upfront for your hotel fees and food consumption on top of security deposits (also including deposits for utilities), first and last months rent, and all the other crap you have to pay for. I think it's terrible that they expect you to live off of the little amount they give you for dislocation. I know there are many people complaining about the very same thing I am bitching about. Hopefully, the military will take a closer look at making sure that what they're paying out is sufficient.

We are not living outside of our means. Our rent is even cheaper than what they allot (BAH/Housing allowance) to us. Our credit was good enough in that we didn't have to pay any deposits on our utilities and we only had to pay the minimum security deposit for our apartment. But we still had to pay those deposits on top of all of our added expenses. We have to pay for a rental car while we are waiting for our car enroute from Hawaii. The rental was even discounted at $600 a month. They have a Lending Locker (transitional temporay household goods) at Quantico, but they don't have anything in stock. So no bed, no furniture, no microwave, no pots and pans, dishes, or anything else. Thank God our apartment is furnished with a washer and dryer for our clothes. So we have been sleeping on the floor, sitting on the floor, and using throw away utensils and plates while patiently waiting for our household goods. It's not as if I'm bitching like we shipped our stuff last week. We shipped our stuff 2 months ago...2 frickin months ago!!! We shipped our car less than a month ago, it'll be here roughly the same time as the household goods.

So what are we supposed to do while we are in transition? Who are we, right? They can care less about how long we've been waiting for our stuff and for how much the burden of moving is. If the Marine Corps screws up your pay (which they frequently do) they'll take the money back right away. But if they underpay you, they'll give you your money whenever they feel like it. Ernesto's Career Planner (guy in charge of his renlistment) was incompetent and messed up his renlistment paperwork. As of today, it still looks like Ernesto is getting out of the Marines in September of this year instead of 2009. He serves his country just like the next guy...hell, he's staying in even longer than they guys that just serve 4 years. 3 damn enlistments in the Marine Corps and he still gets screwed by them on a daily basis. Poor guy.

Ugh, so maybe all of my bitching is stemming from the fact that my back and ass hurt from sitting and sleeping on the floor. We have been so uncomfortable this last month...THANK GOD all of our stuff is coming next week. If anyone thinks my bitching is pathetic, I'll be glad to give you my bank account to buy us an air mattress... ;)